War and socialism have a lot in common. Many would argue that war is, in fact, socialism. After all, the government owns the means of production of war. It is centrally planned, completely funded with other people’s money and therefore devoid of market discipline, and directed by a hierarchy of government employees barking orders at the people directly below them.

The warmongers would vehemently disagree. War, they maintain, is a legitimate and necessary security service that is delegated to government only because it is impossible or impractical for the market to provide it. Defense of life and property is necessary to the security of a free state, free markets, and for truth, justice, and the American Way to prevail. Or something.

But being wholly owned and operated by the government isn’t the only similarity between war and socialism. They’re also both sold the same way and tend to go the same way over time. It’s almost like the same Hollywood scriptwriter wrote both movies. And they both have lousy endings.

The sales talk for socialism sounds great to most people. Who wouldn’t rather have “free” food, education, healthcare, etc. than have to pay for it? Especially when the price is so high. Forget that these things are only unaffordable due to previous government interventions demanded by the voters themselves. It’s much simpler to blame evil rich people. “We’ll make them pay their fair share,” say the politicians. And the crowd goes wild.

Then, the politicians get elected, the industries are nationalized, and the “real socialism” phase begins. “Real socialism” is the period at the beginning, when the government is handing out all the free stuff. It’s a nonstop party. “Greed has been defeated,” say the politicians, and they promise it will just keep getting better. Anyone who warns it won’t end well is ridiculed or demonized. 

Then comes the “not real socialism” phase. It starts when the government has run out of other people’s money, the economy has been rendered completely unproductive, and all the zoo animals have been eaten. That’s when the rationing begins and the government becomes even more overtly authoritarian. Those who tried to warn the public and whose predictions came true are demonized as enemies of the state and scapegoated. “It’s the kulaks,” politicians say. “That’s why it didn’t work.”

Later, socialism’s supporters will say “that wasn’t real socialism.” But it was. We know this because the pattern is always the same.

The war script isn’t identical, but it rhymes. Instead of telling the suckers that rich people are the reason they’re miserable, people in another country are blamed. That evil country, or more precisely that country with the very evil government.

(In Jack Nicholson voice): “Is there another kind?
 

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? 

 Tom